February 2020: Best of the Internet
Photo by Max Ostrozhinskiy on Unsplash
Happy end-of-February, loved ones. If you’re reading this, you’ve officially survived cuffing season and coronavirus — at least for now. Amidst all the hand-wringing and talk of hand-washing, I’ve been reminded of my seventh-grade science fair project, which set out to answer this hypothesis: boys don’t wash their hands as well as girls do.
Now, this was way before I ever heard anything about gender being a construct, but I had a hunch that there was a reason why the boys bathroom never had a line and always had extra paper towels. With a little help from my unconditionally supportive friends, I waited outside the boys’ and girls’ bathrooms throughout the day, asking for people to participate.
Please use this moment to picture middle school-me with frizzy hair, transition glasses and one of my dad’s discarded ties as a belt, with a pile of petri dishes for students to wipe their hands on.
After two weeks of cutting class (for science!) I had filled each of the petri dishes and watched with vindicated awe as the boys’ dishes sprouted spirals of bacteria and God-knows-what-else. Statistically significant mold and germs were growing right before my adolescent eyes, and reader, that’s the day I became a feminist.
TL;DR: gender is a construct; everyone has to wash their hands!
Happy reading,
Hal
Read:
78 New Complex Emotions
You know that feeling you get when searching for an emoji that doesn’t exist yet? “A pickle, a tampon, anything that signifies hair.” Folks, you’ve got premoji. This, and 77 other feelings that you just couldn’t quite put your finger on, until now.
My Instagram
No not *my* instagram, but a self-reflective, personal essay about what it means to have an online presence on a platform that makes you dissatisfied with your own life:
“We want what other people want because other people want it, and it’s penciled-in eyebrows all the way down, down to the depths of the nth circle of hell where we all die immediately of a Brazilian butt lift, over and over again. But what is there to say? We know it, we know it, we know it. Still we keep scrolling, deeper down the well of our bottomless need.”
How to Talk about Money with Friends
This advice made me think of a skit we watched during college orientation, where a group of students condescend their friend who can’t afford to eat at the dining hall. I wish we had orientation for real life, but instead we have this Vice column where Rachel Wilkerson-Miller answers our burning questions about how to be a good human.
What to Wear if You’re Interviewing a Terrorist
I was hesitant about this headline because, as a woman in the world, I’m pretty tired of being told what to wear. It’s irritating to see the hard work of women in media get boiled down to blazer recommendations that none of us can afford, but I was delighted to see this thoughtful take on the religious and gender dynamics at play in a journalism interview.
Would a man ever lose sleep over what he wears to interview a terrorist? Perhaps that’s a question for a different post.
The New Trophies of Domesticity
Even though people are getting married later, we still associate luxury home goods with the domesticities of marriage: KitchenAid mixers and Le Creuset cookware feel like they belong on a wedding registry, but do they, really? Can’t we just buy things if and when we want them? A mixer will never wake up one morning and tell you it doesn’t love you anymore.
The Human Cost of a Cheap Manicure
The average mani costs $10.50, which sounds like a bargain. But how much of that actually goes to the person who provided the service? Nail salon employees —typically classified as tipped workers — are primarily women of color who are often subjected to “unsafe working conditions and predatory employers.” This is a great piece if you want to learn about the nail industry, the importance of labor unions and the power of collective bargaining.
I also recommend this old NYT piece, The Price of Nice Nails, as an additional rabbit hole. What I’ve learned from reading both of these: Individual customers can’t single-handedly change the system, but you can always tip in cash to prevent wage theft.
Why Don’t More Men Take Their Wives Last Names?
An article that sparked much debate on Twitter, mostly about whether it’s appropriate to debate at all. As the institution of marriage continues to evolve, so do the practices and views that people attach to it. This latest debate suggests that men might be more open to the idea if they saw other men doing it. It begs the question of why people feel entitled to judging women for their personal choices. Spoiler: it’s none of your business!!!
Watch:
The king of explainer journalism summarizes answers to questions like “Why do our primaries start in Iowa?” and other things you’re afraid to ask your most politically-informed friend. Enjoy, and please vote.
To All the Boys I Loved Before 2: P.S. I Still Love You, Netflix
I am dying to talk about this sequel with anyone who will listen to me. Why was the sequel so bad compared to the original? Did they get new writers? Where can I find Lara Jean’s wardrobe? Why does anyone sympathize with Peter? He lied! A lot! I disagree with everything this ‘therapist’ wrote for Insider! I have a lot of feelings!
Listen:
Need to Find Me? Ask My Ham Man
A contributor to the Modern Love column describes falling in love with a place, and with the local community of people who’ve made her feel at home.
Haunted by Ghosting
Another relationship-centric podcast for this month, which includes my favorite type of content: middle-aged people using slang that young people invented. In an overly connected world, it’s becoming easier to disappear from romantic interests’ live with the click of a button.
Best Rapper Alive, Every Year Since 1979
Complex decided that 2019’s best rapper alive is North Carolina’s own DaBaby, who made his debut as part of XXL’s Freshman Class and released two chart-topping albums in the same year. I guess we all needed some shit with some bop in it.
What I’ve Published Lately:
A minimalistic illustration that represents closeness over time. Source: Reddit via Olivia de Recat